Showing posts with label Sacrilicious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sacrilicious. Show all posts

24 September 2010

What Did I Learn in Library School? Reference Interview

So it is Friday again, which means it is time for me to reflect back on what I learned in library school.  I try to think of all the excersises and worksheets and papers, and pull out the scraps of information that have actually helped or hindered me in my career.  Today's fun topic is the Reference Interview.

What is a Reference Interview?
A reference interview is defined by ODLIS as "the interpersonal communication that occurs between a reference librarian and a library user to determine the person's specific information need(s), which may turn out to be different than the reference question as initially posed."  I define it as "a magical mystery tour of the imagination by a librarian wherein he/she pulls information out of the patron's ass until they leave."  Potato, Potato.  As I may have stated in the past, the patrons hate us.  Bunches.  Whether they are simply trying to confuse your mind or just wipe that smile off your face, the reference interview is your only defense.

"Why do you keep smiling like that!  I hate your happiness!"

Who can use the Reference Interview?
Now, you may be asking yourself, who can use this mystical art?  Through proper training, anyone can be taught the basics of RI, but only a few have the true talent.  In the library, it is known as "The Way."  The Way is a set of skills and talents that causes others to become pacified, their questions answered, and their day brightened.  Each library has one talented in "The Way."  He or she is called into most difficult scenarios where the patron has become livid.  After a few quick moments, the practitioner has gleaned the information from the patron and set them on the right path.  

The Basics
Not all of us know "The Way." Therefore we must be taught the basics of the reference interview.  The most common mistake new librarians make is assuming.  When you assume, you make an ass out of you, not the patron cause he/she knows exactly what he/she came to the library for and you are hindering the situation.  Ask questions, even if it is the most basic type of information available. The patron will start the questioning, but you must finish it.  Treat it as a game to see who is the better human.  The first person to make a statement loses.  The best questions start with "Do you need..."  Consider the following example:

Patron:  Do you have information about screwdrivers?
Librarian:  Do you need a history, how to use them, or how to make them?
P: Why would I need to know the history?
L: Do you need to know the history?
P: No, I just wanna make the drink!
L: Ha!  Yahtzee! 641.874!  Do you need me to read it to you, punk!

As you can see, the "Do you need" method is surprisingly effective as long as you do not let it derail you.  Here is a bad version of the same example:

Patron:  Do you have information about screwdrivers?
Librarian:  Do you need to get drunk or just directions to the nearest wussy bar?
P:  What!?
L:  Do you need me to show you how to mix one up?  Come into my office!
P:  I just wanted to know the best brand of phillips heads! 
L:  Not today, Nancy!  You and me are gettin crunk!

As you can see, the librarian in example 2 allowed his personal feelings to get in the way of a proper reference interview.  It did not help that earlier in the day he lost his goldfish in a brutal custody battle with his crazy, hair dressing EX-girlfriend who honestly would not know how to feed a goldfish if the damn thing ate the shattered dreams of the men in her wake.  But I digress.

Really that is all you need to know to get you started.  After that, it only takes a couple of years to fake that happy, shiny person that the public for some reason wants to see and loathe.  Never let them see the truth.  They can not handle your hate.  They will hate you, so I say let them.  And help them, cause you are getting paid on their dime.  

References:
A Library Science Dictionary
Where to find drinkin' books at NYPL

23 September 2010

Ask a Crazy Librarian: Goofy

Question: What kind of animal is Goofy? 


Answer:  This is a question for the ages.  Many a man has scoured the Internet ever since Gordie Lachance posed the question in Stand By Me in 1986.  The path to this answer is many-fold.


1.)  We must first look at Goofy Goof (his real name) in appearance.  Sure, he drives a car, wears pants, speaks and laughs and has hopes and dreams.  This must make him a man.  According to my ex-wife, however, this does not make anyone a man.  Especially if he cries at movies like Stand By Me.  The erect posture and somewhat intelligent demeanor only make him humanoid, a sniveling wreck of a thing being capable of mediocre tasks but not proficient in the art of happiness. 

The presence of a snout and floppy ears seem to indicate something, but only because they reach out to be noticed.  Like a man who waters the flowers every day, hoping to create light in a dark world, only to have some bitch run them over with her car after a night at the bar with her "friends" Manuel and Chuck.  Yeah, Goofy wants to be a man, all right, but certain features keep him less.

2.)  Next, we look into his past.  In his first appearance, Goofy was known as Dippy Dawg.  Spelling aside, this name conveys much.  The painful heartache his family must have inflicted upon him to name him "Dippy" is horrendous.  Even if this was a nickname, given to him by his "friends" Manuel and Chuck, after a night out with his wife they should have cared more.  Only a subhuman monster would allow such a moniker. 

3.)  The sounds he makes.  Are they human?  That laugh.  Feel the pain as he "enjoys" himself night after night, alone, yuk yuking but deeply hollow.  Soulless.  Murderous.  That cry.  "Ya-ha-ha-hoo-ee" indeed, sir. 

4.)  His social circle.  Between a mouse, a duck, and a Goofy, who is always the best friend?  Who is always kind, forgiving, innocent of the world around him and the horrible, horrible ex-wives that beat the soul out of a creature?  Who always has time to, say, help an ex-wife move out of his own house on his day off with his "best friends" Manuel and Chuck, who disappeared into the new bedroom as I set up the my own stereo system in a new house?  Who goes and picks up the pizza when they take a break? Who?  I'll tell you who!

A DOG!  That's right, a damn dog.  Enjoy a clip of this dog struggling.



References: 
Disney Archive Bio- Lists his first appearances and compares him to Pluto, who is definitely a dog.
Goofy on Wikipedia... Mmmm... Sacrilicious

Have a question for the Crazy Librarian?  Email bannedlibrary@gmail.com