Answer: This is a question for the ages. Many a man has scoured the Internet ever since Gordie Lachance posed the question in Stand By Me in 1986. The path to this answer is many-fold.
1.) We must first look at Goofy Goof (his real name) in appearance. Sure, he drives a car, wears pants, speaks and laughs and has hopes and dreams. This must make him a man. According to my ex-wife, however, this does not make anyone a man. Especially if he cries at movies like Stand By Me. The erect posture and somewhat intelligent demeanor only make him humanoid, a sniveling wreck of a thing being capable of mediocre tasks but not proficient in the art of happiness.
The presence of a snout and floppy ears seem to indicate something, but only because they reach out to be noticed. Like a man who waters the flowers every day, hoping to create light in a dark world, only to have some bitch run them over with her car after a night at the bar with her "friends" Manuel and Chuck. Yeah, Goofy wants to be a man, all right, but certain features keep him less.
2.) Next, we look into his past. In his first appearance, Goofy was known as Dippy Dawg. Spelling aside, this name conveys much. The painful heartache his family must have inflicted upon him to name him "Dippy" is horrendous. Even if this was a nickname, given to him by his "friends" Manuel and Chuck, after a night out with his wife they should have cared more. Only a subhuman monster would allow such a moniker.
3.) The sounds he makes. Are they human? That laugh. Feel the pain as he "enjoys" himself night after night, alone, yuk yuking but deeply hollow. Soulless. Murderous. That cry. "Ya-ha-ha-hoo-ee" indeed, sir.
4.) His social circle. Between a mouse, a duck, and a Goofy, who is always the best friend? Who is always kind, forgiving, innocent of the world around him and the horrible, horrible ex-wives that beat the soul out of a creature? Who always has time to, say, help an ex-wife move out of his own house on his day off with his "best friends" Manuel and Chuck, who disappeared into the new bedroom as I set up the my own stereo system in a new house? Who goes and picks up the pizza when they take a break? Who? I'll tell you who!
A DOG! That's right, a damn dog. Enjoy a clip of this dog struggling.
References:
Disney Archive Bio- Lists his first appearances and compares him to Pluto, who is definitely a dog.
Goofy on Wikipedia... Mmmm... Sacrilicious
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