How to Get Banned From a Library

Becoming banned is somewhat of an interesting notion.  Every day you read about video game accounts or blog commenters being banned for inappropriate usage or content.  Hell, Twitter even has a "block" button to just shut someone right the hell out of your online life.  But just as in every other area of life, the "real" world is harder to manage than the virtual.  Here are some ways you can be ejected from a library, based on real world examples.  Hint:  Disrupt library service to other patrons.

1.  Be all stinky.

Last year, Stuart Penman was banned from his local library after several complaints from patrons and staff about his odor.  Unlike others on this list, he will allowed back if his hygiene improved, but I could not find a follow-up, although I imagine the title of the article could be "Man Takes a Bath, Allowed to Stalk Ex on Facebook Again."  

2.  Show some dirty pics and (allegedly) punch a cop

Lawrence Delaney is a Selectman candidate banned from entering a library where a debate was being held. Why?  Because he showed staff dirty photos and created a disturbance at an earlier time.  He was known for his inappropriate behavior, at one point in an unrelated incident away from the library allegedly hitting a police officer.  Remember folks, you get a bad reputation after allegedly assaulting a police officer, even if you are 82 (did I not mention that?).  With that type of reputation, you may be misunderstood even if that Playmate is your granddaughter (it wasn't?).

3.  Go all Jesus on the place.

Caleb Hanson was banned from his library system for telling others about Jesus.  The sixteen year old would approach people as they entered the library and begin going all missionary on their asses.  While most libraries in general do not have a problem with religion and the speaking thereof, they do have a problem with blocking traffic and bothering people.  When Caleb was asked to stop bothering other patrons, he just kept on, so the library banned him for six months from checking out materials.  

4. Be all Jesus on the place

Photo supplied by Lord Jesus Christ via masslive.com
S/He's on the left.

 “I’m black, I’m transsexual and my name is Lord Jesus Christ."  'Nuff said. 

Actually, his name is Lord Jesus Christ III and he was banned for disruptive behavior from the Clapp Memorial Library.  I have no comment, sometimes this stuff just writes itself.