Ever had your parking lot taken over by 1,500lb adolescent bees? I have.Yes, this week marked the beginning of Driver’s Ed here in Bannville. From the early morning hours to just after noon, Coach Harron gathers his wild bunch and has them parrellel park, dodge, and otherwise twist and shout in his 10 year Honda Accordian around and through a dozen cones set up in the back parking lot of the library.
I do not mind this use of our property because Friday mornings are often slow and you can not get better comedy and drama in one place. Let’s go over some of the more interesting aspects of what I saw today:
1) A girl left the parking break on as she was pulling out of the parking lot to make her inaugural trip around the block. I do not know what instruction she was given the operation of a motor vehicle before this lesson, but whomever told her to simply throw her hands in the air and scream should be given a medal.
2) One guy with super tight jeans and that floppy hair the kids like left in the car crying with the body of a deer on the hood. See, Coach Harron views his detail as driving instructor as being handed an army of chauffeurs. He tends to run errands. Today, it seems, he had come upon the carcass of a deer and was going to take it to the butcher. Floppy Hair drew the short straw.
3) One little lady nearly hung herself with her own seat belt.
4) I watched a pair of drive off without Coach Harron at all. He calmly called the police and the vehicle was returned shortly.
5) After a few years of this, the Honda Accordian has given up the ghost as far as air bags are concerned. This is to the benefit of a few students.
6) If babies were made cone-shaped and orange, we would have a serious problem on our hands.
7) Finally, the accelerator is named that because it makes the car go. Simply stomping on various pedals until you hit the right one should never be attempted when aiming toward other students and/or wildlife. RIP three squirrels, the already mentioned deer, and whatever was in that garbage can.