07 July 2011

Books Might Have Sex Too, Duh Magazine Reports

Here's the first couple sentences from a recent Fox News report:
Television, movies and video games aimed at kids and teens get lots of attention for their portrayals of violence and sex. But a new study finds that popular teen books, too, can be surprisingly sexual, meaning that reading may not always be the wholesome activity that parents expect. [FoxNews]
 Crack.  That is the sound of my brain attempting to beat itself to death from within my skull.

Really?  Holy shit!  Books have sex too!  I thought sex was only invented when Mary Kay and Johnny started sleeping in the same bed and the stork put a baby in her!  Who would write that down?  These are books, nobody does anything bad in books.  Oh, why is this happening?  Why are the satanists going after our young?  Let's see what the Bible has to say:
"Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts are like clusters of fruit.  I said, "I will climb that palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit." May your breasts be like clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples." Song of Solomon 7:7-8
Ahhhhhh! The demons are in my eye holes making me see the sin!  I shall go now into the darkness and kill!